Harry Potter - Part I
Hi! I'm back! At least for anyone who reads this.
On November 18, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire will appear in theaters. Now, for those of you who are Harry Potter fans, I think that the movies are way worse than the books. But that is what people usually say when comparing the two. There is way too much missed. And they are very nearly children's films. And, they keep eliminating my favorite character, Peeves!
We will hear, for the next few days, how Harry Potter is a bad influence, in that he encourages things like witchcraft, the occult, etc. Of course, things like fairy tales have been around for centuries, and the Grimms did not lead anyone to attempt to turn mice into horses, or make beanstalks grow into the sky, or other things of that sort. So Harry must have some kind of magical property now, right?
That is the allegation by those who do not read Harry Potter. The magic that is covered is, well, impossible. You can't go around transfiguring anything you want into something else. Real attempts to play with witchcraft turn you from a homeless, drug-addicted "artist" into a raving maniac intent on conquering the world - at least as legend portrays it. But that is another subject for another time.
The real reason why I think Harry Potter is a bad influence on kids is that he is a pathalogical liar. One would get this by reading his books. And he has other character flaws, too, but that is what leads to "literature." The wizarding stuff merely adds flavor to the story - kinda like an older Grimms fairy tales.
And someone would have to be pretty stupid to be influenced by this series. For example, not only is the magic totally fictional, but the characters are highly unrealistic. Let me explain. In book six, the males finally learn to like girls, and start making out with them. At age 16. See a problem there? At age 16, most boys no longer interested in getting to first base, but scoring home runs. Er, bad analogy. Let me correct myself. At 16, most boys are no longer interested in getting the quaffle into the hoops, but grabbing the snitch. There, better analogy.
Plus, Hogwarts is a place where 16 year olds have the ability to brew love potions. By reading the books, you know that it is essentially a hyper-aprodiasiac. Most boys are not brewing the potions, but the girls are. Something seriously wrong here!
If I were to make the series much more realistic, the 16 year old boys would be lining up to the dungeon, day after day, and manufacturing the love potions in mass quantities. I know I would if I were not a muggle, and had that ability. I think they would spend other moments of their free time perfecting their engorgement charms. And they would be way, way beyond making out with the witches in the castle.
In fact, if this series were anything realistic, the hospital ward would spend most of it's time dealing with deliveries, abortions, and treating venereal diseases. As Hogwarts caters to teenagers, especially those who have potent sexual abilities. Unless wizards have some kind of charm to ward those off. And, there would be a pretty big nursery in the Hogwarts castle - something not mentioned in any of the books.
Of course, this is not the only unrealistic aspect of this series (besides all that magic stuff). Hogwarts castle is full of perils - even when Voldemort and his death eaters do not make it a more dangerous place. The boys would not only be lining up by the dungeons, but a bunch of American trial attorneys would be lined up at the castle gates armed with "summons and complaint"s to serve for all those injuries sustained by everyone there. I think that Neville has at least 25 potential suits against Hogwarts, if the series is any indication. Voldemort would be the least of Hogwarts' worries - it would be trying to get all the money to pay those verdicts rendered against it.
Some people on the religious right would see that Harry Potter is not so threatening in that Hogwarts actually celebrates Christmas! What would happen in America if a public school celebrated Christmas?
Now, I think Harry Potter, being children's literature, is fairly easy to predict the outcome. We have come to book six. I believe that he has anywhere from 3-5 horcruxes to destroy to be ever victorious over Voldemort. That is probably what book seven will be about. Unfortunately, the plots of the Harry Potter books are such closely guarded secrets, and I now have reason to believe that both the CIA and the Whitehouse are taking lessons from the publisher about how to totally prevent leaks 100%!
I will make a prediction. In book 7, not only Voldemort get his ass kicked, but - ready? - Harry will die. It's quite obvious. This has been predicted throughout the series. It's obvious Voldemort will go away, because if he does not, us muggles are doomed. But everyone will be "surprised" by Harry's death - which is not a surprise. Then again, he may marry Hermione, or Loony, or Ron, and live happily ever after, as everyone expects, but for some reason, I do not expect that to be the outcome.
Another quick prediction. Harry will be betrayed by the Durslings. Go back to book one. Why do you think they were so adament that he not go to Hogwarts and become a wizard - when they had an excellent chance to get rid of him. I believe that either Petunia's mother, or Mr. Durslings mother, is a Riddle - so they have a reason not to like wizards. Or, one of Petunia's parents was a squib.
Of course, there is not much use analyzing children's literature. Unless most children read it, and many adults read it, and it becomes part of the cultural fabric of our society. Then it needs to be analyzed and criticized. I think there is a dominent theme in this series that is overlooked, and I will go over it tomorrow.
On November 18, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire will appear in theaters. Now, for those of you who are Harry Potter fans, I think that the movies are way worse than the books. But that is what people usually say when comparing the two. There is way too much missed. And they are very nearly children's films. And, they keep eliminating my favorite character, Peeves!
We will hear, for the next few days, how Harry Potter is a bad influence, in that he encourages things like witchcraft, the occult, etc. Of course, things like fairy tales have been around for centuries, and the Grimms did not lead anyone to attempt to turn mice into horses, or make beanstalks grow into the sky, or other things of that sort. So Harry must have some kind of magical property now, right?
That is the allegation by those who do not read Harry Potter. The magic that is covered is, well, impossible. You can't go around transfiguring anything you want into something else. Real attempts to play with witchcraft turn you from a homeless, drug-addicted "artist" into a raving maniac intent on conquering the world - at least as legend portrays it. But that is another subject for another time.
The real reason why I think Harry Potter is a bad influence on kids is that he is a pathalogical liar. One would get this by reading his books. And he has other character flaws, too, but that is what leads to "literature." The wizarding stuff merely adds flavor to the story - kinda like an older Grimms fairy tales.
And someone would have to be pretty stupid to be influenced by this series. For example, not only is the magic totally fictional, but the characters are highly unrealistic. Let me explain. In book six, the males finally learn to like girls, and start making out with them. At age 16. See a problem there? At age 16, most boys no longer interested in getting to first base, but scoring home runs. Er, bad analogy. Let me correct myself. At 16, most boys are no longer interested in getting the quaffle into the hoops, but grabbing the snitch. There, better analogy.
Plus, Hogwarts is a place where 16 year olds have the ability to brew love potions. By reading the books, you know that it is essentially a hyper-aprodiasiac. Most boys are not brewing the potions, but the girls are. Something seriously wrong here!
If I were to make the series much more realistic, the 16 year old boys would be lining up to the dungeon, day after day, and manufacturing the love potions in mass quantities. I know I would if I were not a muggle, and had that ability. I think they would spend other moments of their free time perfecting their engorgement charms. And they would be way, way beyond making out with the witches in the castle.
In fact, if this series were anything realistic, the hospital ward would spend most of it's time dealing with deliveries, abortions, and treating venereal diseases. As Hogwarts caters to teenagers, especially those who have potent sexual abilities. Unless wizards have some kind of charm to ward those off. And, there would be a pretty big nursery in the Hogwarts castle - something not mentioned in any of the books.
Of course, this is not the only unrealistic aspect of this series (besides all that magic stuff). Hogwarts castle is full of perils - even when Voldemort and his death eaters do not make it a more dangerous place. The boys would not only be lining up by the dungeons, but a bunch of American trial attorneys would be lined up at the castle gates armed with "summons and complaint"s to serve for all those injuries sustained by everyone there. I think that Neville has at least 25 potential suits against Hogwarts, if the series is any indication. Voldemort would be the least of Hogwarts' worries - it would be trying to get all the money to pay those verdicts rendered against it.
Some people on the religious right would see that Harry Potter is not so threatening in that Hogwarts actually celebrates Christmas! What would happen in America if a public school celebrated Christmas?
Now, I think Harry Potter, being children's literature, is fairly easy to predict the outcome. We have come to book six. I believe that he has anywhere from 3-5 horcruxes to destroy to be ever victorious over Voldemort. That is probably what book seven will be about. Unfortunately, the plots of the Harry Potter books are such closely guarded secrets, and I now have reason to believe that both the CIA and the Whitehouse are taking lessons from the publisher about how to totally prevent leaks 100%!
I will make a prediction. In book 7, not only Voldemort get his ass kicked, but - ready? - Harry will die. It's quite obvious. This has been predicted throughout the series. It's obvious Voldemort will go away, because if he does not, us muggles are doomed. But everyone will be "surprised" by Harry's death - which is not a surprise. Then again, he may marry Hermione, or Loony, or Ron, and live happily ever after, as everyone expects, but for some reason, I do not expect that to be the outcome.
Another quick prediction. Harry will be betrayed by the Durslings. Go back to book one. Why do you think they were so adament that he not go to Hogwarts and become a wizard - when they had an excellent chance to get rid of him. I believe that either Petunia's mother, or Mr. Durslings mother, is a Riddle - so they have a reason not to like wizards. Or, one of Petunia's parents was a squib.
Of course, there is not much use analyzing children's literature. Unless most children read it, and many adults read it, and it becomes part of the cultural fabric of our society. Then it needs to be analyzed and criticized. I think there is a dominent theme in this series that is overlooked, and I will go over it tomorrow.
posted by EricMatthew at 10:45 PM
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