The Adventures of Roger Bond & his son James - Act III
In our last adventure, we learned that Roger Bond was given an assignment to fool the Japanese, so they would fail in their invasion of Manchuria. He picked up an assignment off of the bosses desk, and happily stumbled on his way.
Just one day after given his assignment, he made it to Liverpool, where the ship to take him to Shanghai was located. He had his baggage, his ticket, his dossier. Ready to go.
Then, he noticed a crate of his favorite rum rolling on by. As he likes to drink, he follows it, into the cargo hold, of a ship bound - for New York.
So he gets stuck on this ship, sailing for a long time. He survives on "liquid nourishment" - really, not much different than he is used to.
When he gets into New York, a middle age man, with round spectacles, "tips" one of the custom's inspectors. It turns out this is one of Joseph Kennedy's bootleg ships. He notices a man on board, and thinking he is a cop, has him brought back home, for questioning.
Roger, who is about as tight-lipped as a supermarket tabloid, tells Joseph everything. As Joseph has no interest in starting another world war (as proven by his efforts as British ambassador eight years later), decides to make him an official marketeer of his product to all those speakeasies in America. I.e., for Roger, the perfect job. Roger promptly forgets his mission, leaves the plans with Joseph, and starts his new career.
Meanwhile, back in London, the originators of the plan sit in the office, waiting for the new of the arrival in Shanghai. However, when the ship lands, there is no Roger. So where is he, they ask? One of the men comments that they cannot keep officials in every nook and cranny of the British empire, since it already controls 1/4 of the planet. After some questioning, after a fortnight it is reported by one of the British spies in America reports that he landed in New York, about one of Kennedy's ships (as Kennedy was prominent even then, he would be carefully watched). And now he is in Kennedy's employ, as the marketeer for his product.
No worry, they comment. After all, they got rid of one of the biggest blunder committer in world history (remember, he was responsible for the loss of Gallipoli). Besides, they can get another incompetent to do the task. Only they need to follow him closer.
Thus, they need to reconstruct the plans. Off of the original. So they grab the dossier off of the shelf, and low-and-behold, it is mentions "the Fake Plans". They have to go home and change immediately afterward, and the assistant head of the secret service has to be rushed to the hospital for major heart complications.
Now they have got to find Roger. They discuss who to appoint. No one they can trust. Then they realize that Roger has a son in Eton by the name of James. Maybe he can help.
At 17, James is not much of a success at Eton. He is far too interested in the opposite sex. Given his actions in all his movies, this is not surprising. What is surprising, however, is that he has zero success - like his Eton record.
Most embarrasing of all is the fact that he keeps on hitting on the daughters of all Eton employees (I don't know the proper wording, but using that for a lack of a better term). And he keeps striking out. The worst of all is that he recently tried to score with the daughter of the headmaster, which brings him into the headmaster's office - for a drubbing before the expulsion.
After having to put up with about ten hours of facing a very hostile headmaster, he is about to be read the expulsion order - when officials of the British government come, very rudely, into the office. "Get out!" he screams. "Sit yer bum down," they reply.
They then throw him out of his office, then lock the door. James introduces himself "I'm James Bond. Very glad to meet you." About a minute later, the headmaster is enraged, pounding on the door, to no avail. Which makes it difficult to state the mission.
However, they do succeed. They mention that his father, Roger, was sent to the United States on a mission to obtain debt forgiveness from the Great War. However, wiley J.P. Morgan officials conspired with a major criminal to kidnap him and hold him in a speakeasy. At which point James states that being held hostage in a speakeasy is paradise for his father. However, they intervene to mention that he in fact needs to get out of the speakeasy and accomplish the mission, for the glory (or the economy) of the British empire, is at stake. Plus, he is the person who can best identify his father, being his only son.
Realizing that he is about to be kicked out of Eton (although it had been at least five years since seeing his father), looking for some adventure, and maybe some "entertainment" from the notorious speakeasies, as well as promised admission to Oxford, James jumps at the chance to go. They then grab the headmaster, who is ordered to get James' things from his room and put it in the car, and they rush off to London.
While in London, James is thrown into a "spy" crash course. He is given a ticket to America. He is instructed to look for a Joseph Kennedy in New York, and find out where he can be located. He will be instructed by British officials in America, who will watch over him, and spring him from trouble. At which point he is instructed to get his father back to London. And, by the way, he needs to get the dossier from Mr. Kennedy, who, as a wily market manipulator, will use the information provided to conduct his raid against the pound, making huge profits. No mere American is to humiliate the mighty British pound, especially since it had just gone off the gold standard.
To make sure he gets to the right location, they have agents secretly trail him all the way across, and follow him across the Atlantic. Sure enough they are impressed that he can easily follow directions, unlike his father. And he stays sober the entire time, too, despite the fact that plenty of free booze is easily obtainable on the ship. And unlike his father, he has an amazing ability to keep his mouth shut about his mission, and can even make up an alibi. What is embarrasing is that his alibi, that he is trying to get the body of his dead mother who was killed as an innocent bystander in a shoot-out by rival bootleg gangs, is nothing more than a ruse to get all the young women of the ship to go to bed with him, but it is very embarrasing in that he is disastrous in every encounter, and they are horribly embarrased for him.
They finally get to America, and are ready to enjoin in the task at hand.
Just one day after given his assignment, he made it to Liverpool, where the ship to take him to Shanghai was located. He had his baggage, his ticket, his dossier. Ready to go.
Then, he noticed a crate of his favorite rum rolling on by. As he likes to drink, he follows it, into the cargo hold, of a ship bound - for New York.
So he gets stuck on this ship, sailing for a long time. He survives on "liquid nourishment" - really, not much different than he is used to.
When he gets into New York, a middle age man, with round spectacles, "tips" one of the custom's inspectors. It turns out this is one of Joseph Kennedy's bootleg ships. He notices a man on board, and thinking he is a cop, has him brought back home, for questioning.
Roger, who is about as tight-lipped as a supermarket tabloid, tells Joseph everything. As Joseph has no interest in starting another world war (as proven by his efforts as British ambassador eight years later), decides to make him an official marketeer of his product to all those speakeasies in America. I.e., for Roger, the perfect job. Roger promptly forgets his mission, leaves the plans with Joseph, and starts his new career.
Meanwhile, back in London, the originators of the plan sit in the office, waiting for the new of the arrival in Shanghai. However, when the ship lands, there is no Roger. So where is he, they ask? One of the men comments that they cannot keep officials in every nook and cranny of the British empire, since it already controls 1/4 of the planet. After some questioning, after a fortnight it is reported by one of the British spies in America reports that he landed in New York, about one of Kennedy's ships (as Kennedy was prominent even then, he would be carefully watched). And now he is in Kennedy's employ, as the marketeer for his product.
No worry, they comment. After all, they got rid of one of the biggest blunder committer in world history (remember, he was responsible for the loss of Gallipoli). Besides, they can get another incompetent to do the task. Only they need to follow him closer.
Thus, they need to reconstruct the plans. Off of the original. So they grab the dossier off of the shelf, and low-and-behold, it is mentions "the Fake Plans". They have to go home and change immediately afterward, and the assistant head of the secret service has to be rushed to the hospital for major heart complications.
Now they have got to find Roger. They discuss who to appoint. No one they can trust. Then they realize that Roger has a son in Eton by the name of James. Maybe he can help.
At 17, James is not much of a success at Eton. He is far too interested in the opposite sex. Given his actions in all his movies, this is not surprising. What is surprising, however, is that he has zero success - like his Eton record.
Most embarrasing of all is the fact that he keeps on hitting on the daughters of all Eton employees (I don't know the proper wording, but using that for a lack of a better term). And he keeps striking out. The worst of all is that he recently tried to score with the daughter of the headmaster, which brings him into the headmaster's office - for a drubbing before the expulsion.
After having to put up with about ten hours of facing a very hostile headmaster, he is about to be read the expulsion order - when officials of the British government come, very rudely, into the office. "Get out!" he screams. "Sit yer bum down," they reply.
They then throw him out of his office, then lock the door. James introduces himself "I'm James Bond. Very glad to meet you." About a minute later, the headmaster is enraged, pounding on the door, to no avail. Which makes it difficult to state the mission.
However, they do succeed. They mention that his father, Roger, was sent to the United States on a mission to obtain debt forgiveness from the Great War. However, wiley J.P. Morgan officials conspired with a major criminal to kidnap him and hold him in a speakeasy. At which point James states that being held hostage in a speakeasy is paradise for his father. However, they intervene to mention that he in fact needs to get out of the speakeasy and accomplish the mission, for the glory (or the economy) of the British empire, is at stake. Plus, he is the person who can best identify his father, being his only son.
Realizing that he is about to be kicked out of Eton (although it had been at least five years since seeing his father), looking for some adventure, and maybe some "entertainment" from the notorious speakeasies, as well as promised admission to Oxford, James jumps at the chance to go. They then grab the headmaster, who is ordered to get James' things from his room and put it in the car, and they rush off to London.
While in London, James is thrown into a "spy" crash course. He is given a ticket to America. He is instructed to look for a Joseph Kennedy in New York, and find out where he can be located. He will be instructed by British officials in America, who will watch over him, and spring him from trouble. At which point he is instructed to get his father back to London. And, by the way, he needs to get the dossier from Mr. Kennedy, who, as a wily market manipulator, will use the information provided to conduct his raid against the pound, making huge profits. No mere American is to humiliate the mighty British pound, especially since it had just gone off the gold standard.
To make sure he gets to the right location, they have agents secretly trail him all the way across, and follow him across the Atlantic. Sure enough they are impressed that he can easily follow directions, unlike his father. And he stays sober the entire time, too, despite the fact that plenty of free booze is easily obtainable on the ship. And unlike his father, he has an amazing ability to keep his mouth shut about his mission, and can even make up an alibi. What is embarrasing is that his alibi, that he is trying to get the body of his dead mother who was killed as an innocent bystander in a shoot-out by rival bootleg gangs, is nothing more than a ruse to get all the young women of the ship to go to bed with him, but it is very embarrasing in that he is disastrous in every encounter, and they are horribly embarrased for him.
They finally get to America, and are ready to enjoin in the task at hand.
posted by EricMatthew at 9:41 PM
<< Home