Netiquitte for Dummies (or, using email properly)
Today, with the advent of email, those who use it really use it a lot - as their preferred form of communication. Very often, they use it much more than need be - and in fact, use it as a crutch and as a result do not have very effective communication. That is because those who prefer email over everything else are often the most anti-social of the bunch, too.
Well, I like email, but not that much. I see it as a way to get certain ideas across, not all ideas. There is a reason for this.
Content is only 5-10% of effective communication. The rest is non-verbal, or other actions. In addition, email lacks the immediate reciprocity that other forms of communication have - even the telegraph (is that thing still used?). Hence, email should not be used for much of human communication. However, I shall start with what it is good for:
1) Announcements. A cheap, easy way to get an announcement to lots of people, is email. And, the contents of the announcement can be spelled out quickly. For example, at Central, I was the person who knew where all the parties were. Had I attended there only a few years later, I could have emailed hundred of people, at once, and had better parties. Also, service like "Evite" work well with email, too.
2) Orders. If you are the boss, and giving simple directives, email is the best way to type something out and kick it out. If your employee resists, well, that's a bad for him. He'll get to see what an unemployment line looks like!
3) Academic ideas. Academicians should be the least emotional of all people. So you can kick ideas out and argue over them. This was the first use of email over 30 years ago. And it was the idea behind the listserves that were popular 10 years ago (I founded several by the way, although they all eventually fell out of fashion and went by the wayside).
4) Attachments. This of course beats the post office in that you can get the documents to the person immediately, and not pay anything.
5) Jokes, homilies, stories, etc. In the old days, stuff like this was passed around the office on a single sheet of paper. Later on, the copy machine copied them and they were passed out. When I started my real job, there was an employee who had a whole physical folder of this stuff (which would now more likely than not sit on the employer's server). Now, it is clearly on the server for the IT Department/HR Department to see with whom it originated. And if you worked outside an office, or didn't work, you never got to see it. Now, you have 20 different friends sending you the same thing - maybe twice, or thrice, or 50 billion times!
6) Memos. Once upon a time, in the office, directives and information were passed out on memos. Now, the head honcho merely sends out an email to the distribution list, and it goes to all employees. He spends only a few minutes typing it out, rather than several hours dictating a memo.
In fact, it is so customary now, that five years into my real job, I got my first real memo - on that "MEMO" letterhead! It was three pages, and the only thing I remember about it was that some girl stayed with "some friends" in a hotel in the seedy part of town. I totally forgot the lesson my supervisor at the time dictated. But when I got it, I had been so used to email, that I thought that this was a joke.
7) And of course, letters. Email takes the place where one would used to dictate a letter to someone. I still send those out all the time at work, but I use email more and more each year. In fact, the last time I actually wrote/mailed a real letter (excluding Christmas cards), to an American at least, was over a decade ago. I in fact think that the last letter I wrote was five years ago, to someone in Russia.
Now that we have the good reason for email. However, a lot of anti-social personalities seem to like to use the internet for all forms of communication. Hence, their communication is ineffective. One person told me "everyone uses email (rather than the phone) as the preferred communication today." But then again, interpersonal skills, a trait that Americans generally excel in, is lacking, too. Here is a "Online Customer Survey" found in "The Dilbert Principle," by Scott Adams:
Online Computing Survey (1985)
If you could connect your computer to a vast network of information, how would you use this service?
A. Gather valuable scientific information
B. Improve my education
C. Demonstrate my complete lack of personality by spending countless hours typing inanane and often obscene sentence fragments that can by viewed by people just like me in "real time."
If you answered "C" above, what should that service be called?
A. Computer Chat
B. I'm a Moron and I'll prove it!
C. Good-Bye Saving Account.
As you can see, some people use email because they totally lack interpersonal skills. For many others, it just seems that way. Here are some reasons when not to use email:
1) Important requests. To do these, one needs face-to-face communication, and reciprocity, to determine understanding. Otherwise, the person will not get the message.
2) When someone ignores you to begin with. Sending them email will not do them any good. Remember, such people are often anti-social, so what makes you think that sending something that is easier to ignore will get the idea across?
3) Emotional communication. This requires face-to-face communication. For example, imagine getting this email:
"Joseph:
"I just discovered that I no longer love you. I have just developed feelings for Igor. I want to sleep with him so bad! He's much more handsome than you, and does not have the body odor you have. And, he has better career prospects than you do. As well as being 500 times better in bed that you are.
"So, we are going to have to stop seeing each other. Yes, we have been together for four years, but, that's the way the ball bounces!
"Have a nice life!
"Heidi"
4) Sensitive Issues. When sensitive issues are involved, you need to use face to face communication. That is why grief counsellors are hired. For example, imagine getting this email:
"Matt:
"The medical tests have come in. They show that you are HIV positive. You will need to come to our office to get pills needed to make your cocktail.
"This is what happens when you have multiple sex partners each night.
"Dr. Smith
"BTW: Everytime you get the clap, it doesn't "win a blow for the sexual revolution" as you believe. "
Or, imagine this one:
"Eleanor:
"We have just received notice that your only child, Rob, was involved in a drunk driving collision. He had a BAL of .30 and rolled his car into a school bus full of children. Several children were injured, too. Since Rob is a still minor, you will be liable for their injuries. We're curious on knowing how you raised such an alcoholic son.
"And, we have just received notice that he died of massive internal injuries from this collision. We will be hauling his body off to the morgue on 353 Main Street - you can view his remains there.
"Trooper Jones, Badge #345,
Washington State Patrol"
Anything doing with very contentious political issues (unless it's specifically a politcal group)belongs in this category. I present you with this example:
"Hi Gang! Today I wish to discuss the issue of abortion.
"So, are you in favor of killing innocent babies, or are you one of those who prefers to have 100% control over every woman's body. I would love to hear your opinion on this issue.
"Dick"
5) Very important annoucements. Imagine getting this in an email for the first time:
"Sharon:
"I have just filed divorce papers at the county courthouse. I checked off the "incipient insanity"box. I await your lawyer's reply to my contentions.
"John"
6) Projects. Email is an important way to send documents. But, when working on such things like founding documents, you do need a meeting. Emailing them back and forth do not work, as immediate reciprocity will get a more cohesive document. You will need to meet face-to-face at least once.
7) Messages to anti-social people. While you can send them announcements, you will have to send "just the facts, maam" Anything else can and will be misinterpreted.
8) A concept requiring some explanation. While email can give good detail, often, what is presented requires verbal explanation. This is so the other person demonstrates they understand what is presented. Effective communicators often prefer the phone over email.
At my job, I admit, I use the phone a lot. Probably more than needed. For example, people call up and ask a simple yes/no question - one that requires a yes/no response. An email would suffice (and they probably ask it so often, they can save it as a script). And I could kick off an email right away, too.
Or, sometimes I get a minute-long voice mail asking to fax something. Something that is saved as a template, even! An email asking for it can be sent to me, and I can send it as an attachment. Time saved.
However, people will need to learn when to use email, and if the situation involved best calls for an email, or another type of communication.
Eric
Well, I like email, but not that much. I see it as a way to get certain ideas across, not all ideas. There is a reason for this.
Content is only 5-10% of effective communication. The rest is non-verbal, or other actions. In addition, email lacks the immediate reciprocity that other forms of communication have - even the telegraph (is that thing still used?). Hence, email should not be used for much of human communication. However, I shall start with what it is good for:
1) Announcements. A cheap, easy way to get an announcement to lots of people, is email. And, the contents of the announcement can be spelled out quickly. For example, at Central, I was the person who knew where all the parties were. Had I attended there only a few years later, I could have emailed hundred of people, at once, and had better parties. Also, service like "Evite" work well with email, too.
2) Orders. If you are the boss, and giving simple directives, email is the best way to type something out and kick it out. If your employee resists, well, that's a bad for him. He'll get to see what an unemployment line looks like!
3) Academic ideas. Academicians should be the least emotional of all people. So you can kick ideas out and argue over them. This was the first use of email over 30 years ago. And it was the idea behind the listserves that were popular 10 years ago (I founded several by the way, although they all eventually fell out of fashion and went by the wayside).
4) Attachments. This of course beats the post office in that you can get the documents to the person immediately, and not pay anything.
5) Jokes, homilies, stories, etc. In the old days, stuff like this was passed around the office on a single sheet of paper. Later on, the copy machine copied them and they were passed out. When I started my real job, there was an employee who had a whole physical folder of this stuff (which would now more likely than not sit on the employer's server). Now, it is clearly on the server for the IT Department/HR Department to see with whom it originated. And if you worked outside an office, or didn't work, you never got to see it. Now, you have 20 different friends sending you the same thing - maybe twice, or thrice, or 50 billion times!
6) Memos. Once upon a time, in the office, directives and information were passed out on memos. Now, the head honcho merely sends out an email to the distribution list, and it goes to all employees. He spends only a few minutes typing it out, rather than several hours dictating a memo.
In fact, it is so customary now, that five years into my real job, I got my first real memo - on that "MEMO" letterhead! It was three pages, and the only thing I remember about it was that some girl stayed with "some friends" in a hotel in the seedy part of town. I totally forgot the lesson my supervisor at the time dictated. But when I got it, I had been so used to email, that I thought that this was a joke.
7) And of course, letters. Email takes the place where one would used to dictate a letter to someone. I still send those out all the time at work, but I use email more and more each year. In fact, the last time I actually wrote/mailed a real letter (excluding Christmas cards), to an American at least, was over a decade ago. I in fact think that the last letter I wrote was five years ago, to someone in Russia.
Now that we have the good reason for email. However, a lot of anti-social personalities seem to like to use the internet for all forms of communication. Hence, their communication is ineffective. One person told me "everyone uses email (rather than the phone) as the preferred communication today." But then again, interpersonal skills, a trait that Americans generally excel in, is lacking, too. Here is a "Online Customer Survey" found in "The Dilbert Principle," by Scott Adams:
Online Computing Survey (1985)
If you could connect your computer to a vast network of information, how would you use this service?
A. Gather valuable scientific information
B. Improve my education
C. Demonstrate my complete lack of personality by spending countless hours typing inanane and often obscene sentence fragments that can by viewed by people just like me in "real time."
If you answered "C" above, what should that service be called?
A. Computer Chat
B. I'm a Moron and I'll prove it!
C. Good-Bye Saving Account.
As you can see, some people use email because they totally lack interpersonal skills. For many others, it just seems that way. Here are some reasons when not to use email:
1) Important requests. To do these, one needs face-to-face communication, and reciprocity, to determine understanding. Otherwise, the person will not get the message.
2) When someone ignores you to begin with. Sending them email will not do them any good. Remember, such people are often anti-social, so what makes you think that sending something that is easier to ignore will get the idea across?
3) Emotional communication. This requires face-to-face communication. For example, imagine getting this email:
"Joseph:
"I just discovered that I no longer love you. I have just developed feelings for Igor. I want to sleep with him so bad! He's much more handsome than you, and does not have the body odor you have. And, he has better career prospects than you do. As well as being 500 times better in bed that you are.
"So, we are going to have to stop seeing each other. Yes, we have been together for four years, but, that's the way the ball bounces!
"Have a nice life!
"Heidi"
4) Sensitive Issues. When sensitive issues are involved, you need to use face to face communication. That is why grief counsellors are hired. For example, imagine getting this email:
"Matt:
"The medical tests have come in. They show that you are HIV positive. You will need to come to our office to get pills needed to make your cocktail.
"This is what happens when you have multiple sex partners each night.
"Dr. Smith
"BTW: Everytime you get the clap, it doesn't "win a blow for the sexual revolution" as you believe. "
Or, imagine this one:
"Eleanor:
"We have just received notice that your only child, Rob, was involved in a drunk driving collision. He had a BAL of .30 and rolled his car into a school bus full of children. Several children were injured, too. Since Rob is a still minor, you will be liable for their injuries. We're curious on knowing how you raised such an alcoholic son.
"And, we have just received notice that he died of massive internal injuries from this collision. We will be hauling his body off to the morgue on 353 Main Street - you can view his remains there.
"Trooper Jones, Badge #345,
Washington State Patrol"
Anything doing with very contentious political issues (unless it's specifically a politcal group)belongs in this category. I present you with this example:
"Hi Gang! Today I wish to discuss the issue of abortion.
"So, are you in favor of killing innocent babies, or are you one of those who prefers to have 100% control over every woman's body. I would love to hear your opinion on this issue.
"Dick"
5) Very important annoucements. Imagine getting this in an email for the first time:
"Sharon:
"I have just filed divorce papers at the county courthouse. I checked off the "incipient insanity"box. I await your lawyer's reply to my contentions.
"John"
6) Projects. Email is an important way to send documents. But, when working on such things like founding documents, you do need a meeting. Emailing them back and forth do not work, as immediate reciprocity will get a more cohesive document. You will need to meet face-to-face at least once.
7) Messages to anti-social people. While you can send them announcements, you will have to send "just the facts, maam" Anything else can and will be misinterpreted.
8) A concept requiring some explanation. While email can give good detail, often, what is presented requires verbal explanation. This is so the other person demonstrates they understand what is presented. Effective communicators often prefer the phone over email.
At my job, I admit, I use the phone a lot. Probably more than needed. For example, people call up and ask a simple yes/no question - one that requires a yes/no response. An email would suffice (and they probably ask it so often, they can save it as a script). And I could kick off an email right away, too.
Or, sometimes I get a minute-long voice mail asking to fax something. Something that is saved as a template, even! An email asking for it can be sent to me, and I can send it as an attachment. Time saved.
However, people will need to learn when to use email, and if the situation involved best calls for an email, or another type of communication.
Eric
posted by EricMatthew at 9:07 PM
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