Protocols, Part II

A Book Review of The DaVinci Code

This being Easter, and because I just got done with this book, I though it would be an appropriate time to do a review on The DaVinci Code. This is the first book I have reviewed that I have not possessed - that is because I went to the library to get it, since I do not want to give Dan Brown any of my money.

Here is what this book is about. There is this guy who is a curator of the Louvre, and he is murdered. The French authorities try to frame him. The murdered guy's granddaughter is the hot chick who supposedly knows a thing or two about code breaking. They go into several adventures in the next 1 1/2 days. It starts out by...wait a minute. I'm going into the plot. Nobody reads The DaVinci Code for the plot.

Let me try again. Here is what this book is about. There is this guy living in New England who probably does not like the Catholic Church - just like everyone who lives in New England. My guess is he wants to become a literary superstar - despite supposedly being a 'recluse'. Remember - being a superstar certainly has it's benefits. Ask any big-time rock musician. In any case, with the exception of J.K. Rowling and maybe JRR Tolkein, there have not been any literary superstars in the second half of the twentieth century (Ok, Steven King comes close, but he has a following, not universal appeal). That is because Hollywood has taken away people's leisure time from what they use to do - like read, or engage in civil society.

So he has to think of a hook to get a bunch of naive people to buy his mystery-murder novels. And who is more naive than the intelligentsia - who are are more educated than their level of intelligence would warrant? Under most circumstances, they would consider mystery novels vulgar, and low-brow, and certainly not worth their dignified time. Unless something new is revealed, that appeals to their sensibilities.

And so what does the intelligensia hate the most? Religion! What kind of religion? Christianity! And which denomination? Catholicism! Of course, Judaism is now coming in a close second for the type of religion, and Baptism (especially the Southern variant) is in second place for denomination. But since Catholicism is the most evil thing since...well, since Catholicism, they need to find new ways to attack it. So according to them, any angle that attacks Catholicism has 100% merit.

Thus, here is what this book is about. Supposedly Jesus Christ got married to Mary Magdeline and had some kids. Then she fled to France with her daughter. Eventually, the kids gave birth to the Merogivinian dynasty, (who had all sorts of magical powers, according to a documentary on this), and which was murdered on the Popes orders in the 8th century.

In the meantime, there were gnostic gospels that told the story of Jesus and Mary getting married. However, the Catholic church suppressed all knowledge of these documents in the Nicean conference - or whichever one it was - because they wished to make men dominent over women. Also, they wished to suppress sex. That is because they wanted power over all individuals. Which initiates a dark age, the Piscean age, which doesn't end until the Age of Aquarius. By the way - remember that? That is what the hippies celebrated because they could live with abandon. Suppsedly, this dark age is ending just about now. When the Age of Aquarius ends, no one will be told what to do.

In addition, before the Catholic Church suppressed all sexual intercourse, there was this thing called the Sacred Femine. Which means that female dieties held an equal place with male divinities, or something like that. I am not sure, and I sure don't want to take the time to re-consult this book. Before this happened, the masculine element did not dominate in any religion. As a result, feminine values were celebrated, and everyone had sex with everyone else. It was one big love fest. But when the Church suppressed all knowledge of freewheeling sex, there was some kind of paradigm shift, and the world has been out of balance since. It is even implied that the world has been out of alignment in places where there was no knowledge of the Church, like Mesoamerica, where it was all male dieties.

However, there were descendents of the Merogivinians who had knowledge of this. They knew that there was this thing called the Holy Grail. Which wasn't a cup that you drink out of, but instead, a bunch of documents showing that a. Jesus married Mary, B. There is this thing called the Sacred Feminine, and C. That the Merogovinians are descendends of Christ and Magdeline. So they go to Jeruselum to fetch them, bring them to France, as part of the Knights Templar. A holy order of knights who celebrate the sacred feminine, rather than Christinity. After a couple of centuries, they get suppressed by the evil Catholic Church. There is also this thing called the Priori of Sion which guards the secret, which isn't totally suppressed. The Priori drag the Holy Grail all over Europe, eventually stuffing them under the church in Roslyn, Scotland. Until recently - when they get stuffed under the inverse pyramid in the Louvre (which has been roped off by the French authorities because too many readers of the book have tried to somehow meddle with this sculpture).

DaVinci plays a role, in that he was the master of the Priori of Sion. Much of his work, including his artwork, contains all kinds of codes that allude to the secret of the Grail. Which is suppsedly part of the plot.

There are some evil characters, but the true evil characters are the Catholic Church, and a Catholic order called Opus Dei. Per the book, Opus Dei is an organization that engages in self-mortification. Which is the worst nightmare for most of the perverts who make up the book's audience. In any case, the secret of the Grail is about to be revealed, so Opus Dei has to carry out a bunch of murders to engage in the cover up. With the complicity of the Church. And the French authorities, since the Catholic Church controls the entire French Interior Ministry.

In any case, some other guy is found to be doing all the murders. This is part of the twists and turns that are predictibly found in any mystery novel. And it has a happy ending. The Catholic Church gets a liberal Pope, Opus Dei is humiliated, and the guy goes to Florence for a week of wild, uninhibited sex with the hot granddaughter of the murdered person.

The thing about this book is, that, the plot is not the only fictional aspect.

First, about the Grail story. The Grail legend is just that - a legend. Usually it has involved a cup that I could use for the milk I drink with every dinner - and I can put it in the dishwasher when I am done. Until 1982, when someone wrote Holy Blood, Holy Grail. Which kinda tells this story. And, it is referenced in the book. But since Dan Brown now gets more money trucked daily to his house than he knows what to do with, the author of Holy Blood, Holy Grail wants a piece of the pie, and is suing Dan Brown to get it. To which he is not entitled, for this book is referenced in The DaVinci Code.

In any case, almost all historians regard the "history" in The DaVinci Code as totally without truth. Instead, while there were some gnostic Gospels recently discovered that revealed that this could have been the possibility, they may have been written long after the four basic Gospels. And, they were more likely-than-not forgotten by the time of the Nicean conference than covered up (in any case, the credibility of them is in doubt if these primary documents were written by people who did not witness the life of Jesus). Plus, an Oxford historian noted that these gnostic Gospels give some merit to pure anarchy (as a socio-political system) - which any New Englander would regard as horror, since all New Englanders are quite in love with big government.

First, there is the story about the Merogivinians. The most plausible explanation is that it goes back to - the 1950's. This is quite an interesting story. You see, France's revolution was so traumatic that it took a very long time for it to decide what type of government to have. There was this see-saw between republic and monarch. As late as 85 years after the revolution began, the majority of the French were monarchists. And at the centennial of the revolution, the monarchists were still quite powerful and influential in French society - and could still have put a king on the throne. The argument with them was - which family is to be the king.

As time went along, the number of pretenders to the "French Throne" widened, so much that it could widen it's net to include people whose ancestors were kings of France - one millenium ago. And some rightwing nut who claimed descent from the Merogovinians claimed he was the rightful heir to the French throne. Everyone in France knew about him - and laughed at him like we laugh at Lynden LaRouche today. The "Grail Story" was the story which makes up much of this. This is at least the story of a documentary on "The History Channel," which is owned by the Disney Corporation (actually, the part about the French Revolution is my embellishment.") And the last time I checked, the Disney Corporation has not done a lot to promote any Catholic ideas - or Christian ideas, for that matter.

And the part of the sacred feminine. There is a dispute here, too, amongst some feminist "scholars." I read one book - by a women's studies professor - who claimed that the masculinazation of religion began long before the Jews even entered Palastine. According to her theory, the women was given a high place of honor because only they could give birth to children. But some men figured out that the conception process involved their penises, so they acted like a bunch of men, and made the male gods predominate. That is why the morbidely obese "Venus Mother" of Catyl Huyuk lost her place in the pantheons to the babes Aphrodite, Venus, and Freyya. And how the pantheons were dominated by men like Zeus, Thor, Mars, Odin, and Perun - not to mention the New World dieties like Raven and Coyote. Hey, I don't make this stuff up - Women's Studies professors in major universities do.

Note also that the chief advocate of unlimited sexual perversion was Dionysis - who was a male god from the Scythians southern Russia and entered into the Greek and Roman pantheons.

So, the theory of the Catholic Church suppressing the sacred feminine is utter nonsense, backed up by a lot of history. All you had to do was to pay attention to the mythology that was taught in your English classes in high school, to quickly figure out that the gods pretty much did manly things like go to war, beat up on each other, and impregnate earth women. I'm surprise that the audience of The DaVinci Code forgot these lessons - unless their hormones directed their attention to the chick sitting next to them in that English class, to whom they were planning their designs on. Maybe this is where the idea of "the sacred feminine" comes into play.

Which is why this book appeals to the intelligentsia. In reality, this is nothing more than a sex book. It oozes with sex. It tries to justify lots and lots of sex. It has that the Catholic Church is evil because it tried to suppress free love. Actually, the reason why the Catholic Church tried to suppress this is because a policy where one man is entitled to several women is a very socially destabilizing policy - which at least is the myth of ancient Rome. This is one of unknown reasons, in fact, for the Chinese revolution - There were so many women stuffed away into harems of rich generals, and into brothels - that several men found it next to impossible to find a wife, so they were pissed and fired guns instead (so as to make it possible to get a wife).

Every religion has to place barriers on human behaviour - for good reason. Hence bans on alcohol (Islam, and some Christian sects), red meat (Hinduism, Adventism), pork (Judaism), intoxication (pretty much all major religions imply against it), and, non-monogamous sex (Christinity, Judaism). There is plenty of evidence that all these activities are bad for us in some way.

One more thing - there is no evidence that DaVinci was ever a member of the Priori of Sion - of it's master, for that much less. In fact, historians cannot find any organization he was a member of - since he was a loner. Like many an engineer like he was, he had an aversion to people, and would not have been one to be the type of person once known as "a joiner". Historians would find this proposition, much like most of The DaVinci Code, laughable. In fact, jokes about this book are probably the hottest jokes in history departments currently.

At one time, people used rationality as the main tool to attack Christianity. However, it appears that rational arguments have not been as effective as thought, so they have to make things up instead. Essentially, libel Christianity. Both Voltaire and Bertrand Russell would be deeply embarrassed. Of course, to the intelligentsia, Voltaire is the company that manufactures the batteries used in their Ipods, and Bertrand Russell is probably some late nineteenth century Victorian buttmunch, so that makes him have no credibility anyway.

Instead, they use this. And by using "the sacred feminine", they can use this attack on Christianity to also justify their naughty behaviour. In fact, it is this justification that probably makes The DaVinci Code so appealing.

This book is nothing more than a modern day Protocols of the Elders of Zion (which I have read, also). It is a conspiracy to cover up a nefarious attempt of a group of shady individuals whose goal is to take over the world. Like the Jews in Protocols, the Catholic Church in The DaVinci Code is being used to place all the blame of the world on it. Unfortunately, too many people who should know better by doing a bit more reading are suckered into believing this intellectual garbage.

Sex Sells - But Whose Buying?

Over the weekend, the "much anticipated" sequal to Basic Instinct came out - appropriately titled "Basic Instict 2". As we all know, it bombed.

Basic Instinct scored big in 1991 or 1992 because a 33 year-old Sharon Stone, wearing a skirt with no panties, crossed her legs. This was a big deal back then, for some reason. Oddly enough, it has never been repeated.

Come to 2006. It bombs. Why?

Two talk-show hosts today presented the answer. Rush Limbaugh said that people do not want to see people old enough to be their mothers - or grandmothers - engage in inappropriate behavior. Michael Savage said it better (and how I would say it). He stated "who would run out to the movies to see a middle-aged woman [do this] when they can get x-rated movies off of their cell phones?"

This happened half-a-generation ago. And a lot can happen in 1/2 a generation. And a lot has.

First, Sharon Stone got older. She is now 48. People are not interested in older people engaging in obscene behavior. If this were Jessica Alba doing this, I can almost guarantee that there would be huge lines at the box office. But it is not, so there aren't. As to my proof naked older Americans is not the most attractive thing, check out this site (caution, not family friendly!!!):

www.zombietime.com/breasts_not_bombs/

This weekend, Hollywood should have learned a lesson. This weekend should teach it that it is no longer competitive in the sex portion of the film industry. Especially, due to the internet, of a sex-drenched American culture, what Hollywood is able to produce is now tame with a pervert's palette.

Why? It is cheap to make an x-rated movie. All you need is a video camera, two partners, and a way to upload it onto the internet. There is probably more, but I still suspect it is much cheaper than the $10 million budgets that are required for a major studio to release a film.

You see, after nearly one century of destroying America's social fabric, Hollywood is about to find out what it's like being on the receiving end of Gresham's Law (the cheap drives out the dear, as best defined).

Hollywood no longer has the entertainment monopoly it once had, even as recent as ten years ago. Hence, rather than produce movies scatterbrained, it will need to specialize in what it can be good at - whatever that is. Or, it will be taken over by Bollywood - and no, I'm not being lyrical here, for Bollywood is the name for the Indian film industry.

So what to specialize in? That is a good question. For one thing, the producers and writers will need to stop hanging out in bars in west Hollywood and actually live somewhere in middle America - say, a Chicago suburb? For they will keep generating things that are sexually themed - which, by-and-large, the American public will not flock to.

So what to produce? Adventure? This is one of my favorite genres. However, they are very expensive to make, and video games may now draw the audience for this aspect like porn draws away the perverts. Drama? Somewhat, but oftentimes, too boring (it will have to be of more of a lowbrow variety, and less highbrow). More old-fashioned humor? I say yes. More family fare? I say yes. There is some room, too, for historical themes, and maybe Hollywood could bring back some mystery movies. If done right, political themes may work. Horror might, too, if done tastefully, like in the Hitchcock genre (and not gore). And - gaaack! - maybe start writing musicals again? One of my favorite movies recently was American Treasure - pre-Eisner Disney fare, which would be nice to see again.

While trying to avoid being curmudgenly, I suggest that Hollywood look back to the movies of the Production Code era. This was the Golden Age of Hollywood. And a lot was done right. And people went to the movies. Now, while Hollywood will never lure the percentage back into the theaters (or video stores) that existed during the era of the Production Code, it will certainly halt the slide, and keep up our exports. Especially since entertainment is now an important American export.

Fifteen years ago, when Basic Instinct was first produced, Michael Medved produced a watershed book, Hollywood vs America. His thesis was that sex doesn't sell. That was not totally true then, but now, more true than ever. Hollywood will need to wake up and realize this, or it soon will be as glamorous as Hollywood - and by that, I mean the seedy, Hollywood neighborhood in the city of Los Angeles.